Life as a samurai

August 29, 2016

"If we could not confirm your arrival by 1:00 in the midnight, we consider the guest as NO SHOW CASE."

What did that even mean?

I do not own a dragon

August 28, 2016

For two nights after the movers scooped up my worldly goods, I stayed at a friend's apartment. I would rate the "Heidi Hotel" with an 8/10

Life Untapped

August 27, 2016

I climbed up the metal ladder to the wood and concrete box and launched myself onto the mattress. The space was a cross between a shipping container and Hagrid's hut. It even had a window. I loved it.

I become (temporarily) homeless

August 25, 2016

"What about tomorrow?" The three men in the blue uniforms of the Sekai moving company were crowded around a cupboard containing shoes. This is a standard feature right by the entrance of any Japanese apartment: the movers had not yet got further into my home.

"It's fine," I assured them in my limited Japanese. "You can pack everything."

"But... tomorrow..." One of the movers looked across from the cupboard and gaped in shock. "Aahh!" he pointed at my feet. His two colleagues crowded close. "She's wearing shoes."

My head gets examined

August 20, 2016

Even with earplugs, the noise was loud.

Click. Whir. Tic tic tic. Klonk.

I stared up at the plastic contraption holding my head in place and thought: How does anyone have sex in here?

The insanity of Japanese moving companies

August 12, 2016

I was in my Japan apartment holding a bag of rice and haggling like it was a market place in Delhi. Both of these facts were unexpected.

I fail at a life of crime

March 29, 2016

On my last day in Canada, I attempted to break into a high security deposit box and steal a priceless antique diamond.

I swear at a robot... and one person

February 29, 2016

If you switch on your phone to discover that weather conditions have stalled a bunch of trains, do what I didn't do:

Roll over and go back to sleep. Your plans are on ice.

My PhD is declared useless

February 19, 2016

"I would never do a PhD! It's completely useless. An utter waste of time!"

So. This was awkward. I looked down at my plate. It held a cookie decorated with a green duck.

I miss my flight

February 11, 2016

“It’s too late to use the toilet. They’ve been announcing that for the last 40 minutes and now you’ve missed your chance!"

The ballerina

February 5, 2016

"Are you here on holiday?"

The answer was bound to be 'yes'. I had fallen into conversation with the elderly lady sitting beside me as we had sought out the shuttle bus to transfer to the airport's domestic terminal. I was connecting from Tokyo to Sapporo, she was bound for Osaka. Judging from her accent, we had both just stepped off the London Heathrow flight.

That day when you're trapped under a glass by a giant

September 12, 2015

It has long been on my bucket list to be captured in a glass by a giant joker.

Well seriously -- whose bucket list ISN'T that on? No ones.

My mate, 'mite

September 6, 2015

When I arrived home one evening, I discovered I had been sent a box of magic. Raw, spreadably glutenous, brown yeast extract magic in six incredible different varieties. The note that came with it was clear: "I expect a full review".

IAU, gender does not dictate skillset

August 16, 2015

The closing ceremony for the International Astronomical Union (IAU) General Assembly marks not only the culmination of a two week science conference, but also the official change of the Executive Committee. This did not go well.

Pearl Harbor

August 10, 2015

I took paltry few photographs at Pearl Harbor. This was because each time I viewed the scene through my phone's camera, I mentally captioned it: "Me at the site where 2,500 people met their end!"

#DistractinglySexy

June 15, 2015

Today, I became annoyed by an article in 'The Guardian'. It was a piece discussing the consequences for the Nobel Laureate British biochemist, Sir Tim Hunt, after his disastrous speech at the World Conference of Science Journalists in Seoul last week.

#GirlsWithToys

May 17, 2015

Today, twitter exploded with the hashtag #GirlsWithToys , showing a plethora of pictures of female scientists standing next to the tools of their trade.

Cat island

May 8, 2015

Everyone has a weakness. One that will make them abandon the common sense ingrained from years of primary school doctrine and follow random strangers into situations from which they could not possibly escape.

I sleep in a coffin

May 7, 2015

I knew it was going to be a great trip when a guy in a spiderman mask grilled the cheese on my takoyaki with a blow torch.

The cat who would be king

May 4, 2015

When Kishi Station in the Wakayama Prefecture of Japan was faced with closure, it took the only logical step: it employed a stray cat as station master.