"Will I regret being here?"

I offer this question upfront as one you might need by the time you are half way through one blog post. I hope you laugh, but suspect a large range of other emotions are also on offer including panic, shock and anxiety that Japan may confine the whole of the Western world to a padded cell after hearing me photograph a toilet.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth. Welcome to my life.

 

(If the pictures below look weird, do a tiny resize to your browser window. Something untoward has happened to my set-up...) 


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Horse business

“What you need to know about Brandy,” —I was told— “is that his default mode is to stop. Your job is to keep him going!”

But here’s the thing. My default was to stop too. Brandy and I were kindred souls. Which would have been just fine if I wasn’t trying to learn how to ride. Movement is somewhat of a prerequisite.

Blog
Horse business

“What you need to know about Brandy,” —I was told— “is that his default mode is to stop. Your job is to keep him going!”

But here’s the thing. My default was to stop too. Brandy and I were kindred souls. Which would have been just fine if I wasn’t trying to learn how to ride. Movement is somewhat of a prerequisite.

Striking one another

“According to legend, the very origin of the Japanese race depended on the outcome of a sumo match.”

It was 5:25pm and I’d dashed from my seat to catch the bookstand in the Ryogoku Kokugaikan —Tokyo’s sumo stadium— to buy the ‎‎¥‎100 booklet on the history and rules of sumo. Since the tournament ended at 6pm, I’d arguably left this a little late.

I row the streets of Babylon

Typing is hard. This is because moving my arms to the appropriate level for the keyboard is deeply challenging. And this is because I rowed the streets of Babylon, rings of Saturn and covered a decent chunk of Antarctica.

My parents' car bursts into flames

You know when you go for a quick twenty minute drive in the countryside, park your car and forty-five minutes later it spontaneously combusts?

Blue sushi from blue kappas

Remember when your mother told you not to take sweets from strangers, don’t eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and never NEVER accept blue sushi handed to you from a mythological water demon?

"I erased him from my world," the girl sat with her friends in a restaurant, discussing a failed date with one of her housemates. The outing in question was with a guy named Yuudai who had the tenacity of wet spaghetti and wanted a girlfriend who would do everything for him, down to putting on his socks. I knew these details because I had watched the entire proceedings unfold the week before.



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