Border guard: "Hello!"
Good morning, good morning! Good morning, good morning to you!

I hand over my passport: ".... hi."
Why are you so cheerful?

Border guard: "Thank you."
This passport is so full of stamps and stickers you are probably some form of crazy international spy set on destruction.

I smile politely.
The fact you are so nice is unnerving me.

Border guard, handing back passport: "There you go!"
But you're on our side so whatever.

There's something wonderful about your own border.