Today, I was watching 'Glee' and nearly threw-up over the cat.
Read MoreI fail all Japanese tests ever
It was not a good week for language learning.
By which I mean that if my linguistic ability was the average for mankind, the wheel would have been invented 7,000 times since nobody would have been able to share their discovery.
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America is mean to me
I had been having a great evening right until the point where a guy decided to hang onto the outside of my subway car.
Read MoreAllowing time for prison
I looked down at my 'US Customs & Border Protection' form: it didn't look good.
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There are fireworks and I lose all personal space
It was when I found myself clamped between two pairs of taut buttocks that it occurred to me this evening could have benefitted from more planning.
Read MoreBeautiful intelligence?
As I walked through Hokkaido University campus this morning, my peaceful reflections were brought to a screaming halt by the site of one gigantic poster.
Read MoreI pay in blood for family planning
Despite appreciating the obvious medical reasons behind this, there is something decidedly odd about sitting in a room full of pregnant women, waiting for a prescription for birth control.
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Keep calm and keep your clothes on
I had just begun to give my lecture (Waves & Fluids: a masterfully prepared presentation) when I felt something hit my skin just inside the neck of my top.
Read MoreI lock myself out of my apartment
Nothing really gets you out of bed faster than your cat leaving skid marks on your sheets.
Read MoreWould you like to know the truth?
One the way back from lunch, I was accosted by a crazed religious cult.
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World of ice
Stretching 12 blocks through the centre of the city, Odori Park in Sapporo is home to a wide variety of festivals that take place in the city throughout the year. None, however, is as famous as the 'Yuki Matsuri' or 'Snow Festival'.
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I am pro-choice
Pro-lifers, I have a problem with you. You're not pro-life.
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Two by two
Asahiyama Zoo in Hokkaido is one of the most popular zoos in Japan, with a visitor count of over 3 million a year. This number is surpassed only by Ueno Zoo in central Tokyo and the race is close, with a difference of a scant half-million in 2006, compared to a population ratio of 320,000 : 13 million.
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My cat pees blood
I realised this particular Saturday afternoon was not going to go as planned when my cat leaped on my bed and peed blood all over the duvet.
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Katakana: the ultimate 'Lost in Translation'
You know that feeling where you begin a test filled with certainty that the 100%, A-grade, best-student-ever, candidate for lord-and-master was in the bag? Only to be faced with soul crushing defeat of only one correct answer out of five, thereby proving every local 2 year old your superior?
No? Then let this be a lesson in humility whereby you never admit this to my poor broken soul.
Read MoreHafu
Today I caught a bus to a university I didn’t know existed and watched a film about a group of people who would not be considered a specific minority in my own country.
Read MoreI get paid to go to a hotel
This week, I walked into a hotel and was handed an envelope of cash and an empty tube.
Read MoreI refuse money and my bank decides not to pay my rent
The series of events that found me dripping wet on the doorstep of my bank were decidedly Japanese.
Read MoreThe boyfriend's car I couldn't resist stealing
Some years ago, I had a boyfriend whose car I kept repeatedly tried to steal.
Read MoreAmerica decides I have run out of visits
"American border guards," I explained to my student as we boarded the aeroplane for New York City. "have a reputation for being … " I searched for a word that would describe the situation sufficiently to avoid surprise, but not so descriptively that leaping from the plane as it rolled down the runway would be appealing.
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